Mike and Jason Hate Your Music

Back in Burnt Sienna

2007-04-27T11:17:00.000-07:00

Hooray real update! It is made of both win and lambs. Lambs are adorable.

This story begins with me hanging out with Mauro. We're in his room and this song comes on, and it's some guy with a guitar and a girl with a violin and they're singing at the same time. I look to Mauro, "What the hell is this! This is weird.. why is this on your computer?!"

And a couple of days later I asked him to borrow the album. Great story, eh?

Anyways, Ghost Mice is a two piece Folk Punk band from Indiana and they mad an album, an album about them backpacking through Europe.

Two piece is taken very literally, it's just them. The entire record only has the two members playing their respective instruments, so it's not like they have other people come in and help, or that they have those fancy 'amplifiers'. It sort of sounds like they're in the apartment next door and the walls are really thin.

It's really hard to review this album in pieces and try and say which songs were good and which ones were bad because they all really run together, and not in the bad way. It's just one long story about the two travelers through Europe and their adventures, sleeping in the bushes and the canals in Amsterdam. Feeding sheep, not having any money. And even though their lyrics on this record seem to be completely autobiographical, the pair always seems to make sure their lines rhyme.

7/10 Their story is a very compelling and interesting one, but it's really hard to listen to while you're doing something else. You have to make time to listen to it. Also if you're interested in it you can pick up the CD from http://www.noidearecords.com/ for $4.75! What a deal!

Freebird,
Jason

It's Coming..

2007-03-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

QQ and More Soon

Freebird,
Jason

I Got Nothing. Jack-squat. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

2007-02-11T16:52:00.000-08:00

By: Michael Davey

I tried. I swear to god I tried to write this stupid review, but I've been at it for 3 hours, and I got nothing. I have writers block. 5 drafts later, and I have decided to just scrap it and try again later.

I'm really sorry, but I just can't write. I dunno why, but after this long, I'm ready to just call it done. I really should write reviews as soon as I've heard an album...the longer I wait afterword, the harder it is to write the damn thing.

ANYWAY, I will do a review of Nerdcore Rising, eventually, but I'll be doing it as just a regular review...it's been 2 weeks now, so I officially end Nerdcore Week(ish thing) now.

Sorry, I really did try, but the creative juices aren't flowing at all....uguu~

Peace, and please don't stone and/or rape me for this.

Keeping Ska... Alive?

2007-02-10T17:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, here’s the review I wanted to write. It’s got three stories! Fun, fun, fun (till her daddy took the T-bird away).

I do that whole ‘browse interpunk.com’ thing. Actually, I really love interpunk, buy stuff from them. They are delicious. Anyways, on their front page was The Venkmans’ Keeping Ska Dead, and apparently a lot of people bought it, it was like $7 (what a deal!) so I got it the last time I ordered CDS.

So when my package got delivered, I opened up all the CDs and uploaded them to my computer, put them on my iPod and went to art class and listened to them. Though when I got to the Venkmans, it was when class had ended so I listened to it over my amp while I played some WoW. I thought it was ok, poor mixing. I was like, ‘Hey these guys aren’t very well known and are ok, I should write about them.

Then on Thursday I decided I’d give the Venkmans another shot, so I listened to their album and it was good. Like really good.

But in all honesty, who produced this? Ben Weasel? It sounds sort of like Keasbey Nights though the gritty aspect doesn’t make it sound cool.

They are a ska band, but they draw a little more heavily from punk and dare I say—emo. They’re kind of emo. I like an emo band. I’m sorry everybody. There music sounds good aside from the one or two screamo moments, the guitar isn’t bad and the horns are in no way sloppy.

Oh and now I have two songs with the clip of Dubya saying “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we” thanks to the song 30 miles south (the other being The Queers’ Monkey in a Suit).

Though, the song that stood out the most was a track unlisted on the CD jacket: ‘None of my Friends are Metalheads’. I think I actually laughed out loud. I really have a thing for snotty pop-punk songs. Ska songs. Whatever.

The Venkmans however do have a bit of a juvenile streak, mainly demonstrated by the song Dick-N-The-Butt, which, I’m pretty sure consists of nothing but the words ‘You’ve got a dick in your butt and a cock in your ass’. Also in a 12341234-esce thank you track they thank the word douche.

7/10 It’s good and most of their songs are catchy but it would’ve helped if they had left out the screams and the whole album didn’t sound like it was ‘The Venkmans! Live in Your Neighbor’s Garage!”

Freebird,

Jason

I guess you could be singing about romance but I can’t tell because all the words go WRAWRAWRAW

Advanced Procrastination

2007-02-10T17:27:00.000-08:00

Look guys, the reason I’ve been putting this review off is because in all honesty I really don’t like MC Plus+ (and the Empty Set). I mean, it’s not like I hate him, he’s ok, but it’s just not for me. He’s not like The Locust, he’s just not fun to hate on. I heard the first four songs on his record and I was just like ‘eh’ and I kept putting it off. I had plenty of time to do it, I just didn’t until now. [Don’t] sue me.

The review a-goes a little a-like a-this:

So nerdcore is finally evolving into stuff that sounds different. Rather than a more ‘old school’ sound MC Plus+ on his new album goes for something that sounds a lot like Snoop Dogg. He even thanks him on his ‘shout out’ track.

In all honesty, his beats are better than his rhyming, he tries to go for a very laid back style, but it just ends up sounding like he’s got a mouthful of words and no way to adequately release them. His beats are very obviously synth driven, but compared to a lot of other free, online nerdcore artists are clean and sound decent.

His new album, Chip Hop, is sort of a concept album. MC Plus+ creates an AI program that he can rhyme with, obviously because no one’s programming or lyrical prowess can compare to his. He teaches this program how to rhyme and eventually ends up in a face off with it, where Plus+ deftly defeats him by creating an infinite loop. I don’t remember what exactly the loop was, but it was boring.

Also, sometimes he does that thing, you know that thing where rappers will end two lines with the same word and call it rhyming? That bugs me.

Most of his songs are mediocre at best. I know the thing about nerdcore is you’re supposed to act like you’re the best, but he takes it a bit to far. Frontalot likes to take jabs at himself in his lyrics and Hawking is blatant satire, but when Plus+ talks about how he’s the best he sounds like he believes it.

3.5/10 Check it out if you like programming I guess. Maybe I’d appreciate it more if I had continued with computer science at all.

Freebird,

Jason

More like.. Nerdcore fortnight...

2007-02-05T14:53:00.000-08:00

Sorry, been busy with things and have to do a whole bunch of work tonight, expect a review on Wednesday.

Freebird,
Jason

Wewt for MC Pee Pants...I mean mc chris!!

2007-01-31T22:02:00.000-08:00

By: Michael Davey

As Jason mentioned in the last post, it is indeed Nerdcore week here at MAJHYM (I just realized that’s a really cool abbreviation…). Today’s review is of mc chris’ latest album, Dungeon Master of Ceremonies. Many people know him best for either his killer single “Fett’s Vette”, or from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, as the voice of the ill-fated rapper MC Pee Pants who was reincarnated as Sir Loin at a later time. He has released several albums though, and is one of the preeminent Nerdcore artists. And yes, there are no capital letters in his name. Deal with it.

‘But Michael,’ you ask, ‘why aren’t you reviewing the MC Frontalot album? Didn’t you get it first?’ Yes, loyal readers. I do have Nerdcore Rising, and it will be reviewed later this week. Just think of this as lead-up to it. Or look at it as me torturing Jason. Whatever.

Anyway, back to mc chris. The album starts off with “F.T.W.”, which is a great song. It also includes one of my favorite lines from any song, something that had crossed my mind many times, and I’m glad that I’m not the only person to think it: “MC stands for Master Chief”. As you might guess by the title, the chorus is the repeated phrase “mc chris for the win”, and with this song, he deserves it.

The next song is “Blastic”. It’s an okay song, not great, but not horrible. It is forgiven for it’s flaws, though, for it is followed by my favorite song off the album, “Kingdom Farts”, which, despite the name, is NOT a bashing of Kingdom Hearts, but instead an ode to gaming. It’s an incredible song, with a great beat and guitar rift, and everyone should listen to it. EVERYONE. I’m looking at you, reader. Hint, hint.

There are some other good songs, such as “Check the Ring, Yo”, a song about Chris hitting on an older woman, and “Wiid”, which has nothing to do with the Nintendo Wii, and everything to do with...well, you’ll figure it out. Sound out the title, you can get it.

As in all his albums, mc chris puts in some skits to “break up the monotony of the music”, and they’re actually funny, unlike the skits from some of his earlier albums.

Most of the other songs, including “PW/OM (Party Without Me)”, are good, solid songs. The only song I really didn’t like was “OMC”, and I’m not sure why I didn’t like it…just personal tastes I suppose. But you come here to read my personal tastes (or because I said if you were really my friend you’d read it), so deal.

Overall, the entire album is enjoyable, and worth buying.

8.5 / 10

IT HAS BEGUN

2007-01-31T19:29:00.000-08:00

Greetings mortals.

So yeah, there’s no really obvious way for me to start this review. So here’s my best shot. A long, long time ago a lot of terrible rappers recorded a lot of bad songs about shooting others, bitches, hoes, drugs and money. For every rapper that actually got shot, there were five other, terrible, rappers. Then came white people who thought that they could rap and stole Queen songs. This was not gravy. Then came rappers who couldn’t actually rap and repeated the same lines over and over again.

Then, however, cam more white people. And though these white people were complete and total nerds, they began to rap with the poise and skill of those who were ‘old school’, who did not need to rhyme about how shiny their hub caps were. This gigantic group of total and complete nerds began to release music on the internet. Other nerds listened, and thus nerdcore rap was born.
Ok, maybe I made that up, but it’s close enough to the actual story. But I figured it’s a good enough start, because it’s nerdcore week here at this blog! Hooray for the five readers we have!
Anyways, since Mike was the first one of us to acquire Nerdcore Rising (the first album by MC Frontalot) I got to do MC Hawking’s A Brief History of Rhyme: MC Hawking’s Greatest Hits. I’m not like angry or anything, just saying.

Ken Leavitt-Lawrence creates (created?) a searing parody of gangster rap by combining phat beats with a defunct text to speech program and thus MC Hawking was born. Seemingly studio polished rap beats dubbed over by a voice who were are told to believe is that of physicist Stephen Hawking. And the funny thing is you begin to believe it.

The timing on every track is magnificent, I can understand why they gave this man a record deal, anyone with such precision with a text-to-speech program deserves one. Hawking’s rhymes are, for the most part, about science and violence. While I’m not usually much for violence in music I understand it in this case, as it is intended to be a parody of a genre where violence runs rampant. Three of the tracks on the album are from a fake interview and insuate that MC Hawking “shot up” six “MIT Bitches” and “Bitch Slapped” recording artist Moby. Oh, and in the song Bitch Slap, MC Frontalot has a part!

I prefer his synth heavier songs to the ones with heavy guitars as beats, UFT for the MC just doesn’t do it for me. But his songs are a great mix of humor, parody and science. In the album Hawking is very critical of creationists, though his criticism usually is backed by sound fact.

Creationists always try to use the second law
to disprove evolution, but their theory has a flaw.
The second law is quite precise about where it applies,
only in a closed system must the entropy count rise.
The earth's not a closed system' it's powered by the sun,
so fuck the damn creationists, Doomsday get my gun!

- Entropy

Sometimes, though, it’s not.

Fuck the damn creationists I say it with authority,
because kicking their punk asses be me paramount priority.
Them wack-ass bitches say, "evolution's just a theory",
they best step off, them brainless fools, I'll give them cause to fear me.
The cosmos is expanding every second, every day,
but their minds are shrinking as they close their eyes and pray.
They call their bullshit science like the word could give them cred,
if them bitches be scientists then cap me in the head.

-Fuck the Creationists.

Overall, it was pretty good, though it does get a bit repetitive at some points, though there are a few very hearty laughs. The best part is, though, that as you listen you begin to accept and believe that the computer voice is actually Stephen Hawking and he is one bad motherShut Your Mouth.

6.5/10 Needs More Science. I understand and enjoy to a degree Hawking’s use of violence, but in all honesty, he’s at his best when he’s rhyming about thermodynamics. Songs like Big Bizzang, Entropy and What We Need More of is Science just seem to outshine the rest of the tracks.

Freebird,

Jason

Unstable like the isotope that resolves the fate of the theoretical cat in the hypothetical crate.

Alphabetics

2007-01-25T12:13:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I just figured it would be better to post this here instead of LJ. I dunno, it's music related.

Anyways, I decided that I should listen to the songs on my iPod in alphabetical order, because that's the order they go into if you don't put songs on shuffle. Album or song, same thing. Jumbles them up, you know.

Strangely enough it plays a decent mix of music, it's very intriguing. Though I do have to say that I've only listened from "FRRRREEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRD!!!!!! FRRRRREEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRDDDDD!!!!!!!" through 500 Channels (I wanted to wait until I was listening to 53rd and 3rd, cause I'd look cooler, but I'm lazy.)

Freebird,
Jason

And it's not so bad, cause I made one Benjamen.

An Album.. From the Future!

2007-01-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

Remember when I said I wouldn't often review anything current? Well, apparently I have ventured so far into 'not current' that I can review an album from the future. I have acquired an album before it's release date and I didn't even have to steal it from the interbutt. Last night, mr friends Mauro, LJ, and I ventured all the way from lonely Pembroke up to Carrboro to see The Queers plat at Cat's Cradle. They kicked ass, despite our inability to really hear the two bands that played before them.

They also played Cindy's on Methadone. Hooray!

Anyways, the moral of the story is that at the show, I gave a nice man standing behind a table a ten dollar bill and he gave me their new album. The Queers, Munki Brain 2007 (Asian Man).

Not to make too many references to Mitch Clem but somehow Munki Brain reminded me of this. This isn't foreshadowing, it's just kind of a thing. Pass the salt.

Anyways, after the loud concert, I guess I was expecting the album to be a little faster. Not to say that the songs aren't good, they're just not as fast as I would've expected. The overall speed of the album does fit, though. It seems like a lot of the songs are more influenced by "late `50s, early `60s pop ... girly melody stuff" then the rest of their stuff that I have. If you'd like to complain about the completion status of my Queers discography feel free to buy me a record. That'd be pretty sweet.

And they're The Queers! They need to have a surf song. Duke Kahanamoku makes me want to bounce around. I've always been a fan of these types of songs, especially by these guys. Is that a saxophone in the background?

One song written as a collaboration between Joe Queer and Ben Weasel, I Don't Get it, and one written by Ben Weasel, Tangerine. Both of those songs are good. My original idea for this week was actually to review Weasel's album Fidatevi but how could I resist this album from the future?

The absolute highlight (to me at least) of the entire album is Monkey in a Suit. The Queers wrote a political song!? A fast punk tune comparing the current president, rather unfavorably, to a monkey. A fascist monkey. The breaks between lyrics are filled with clips of good 'ol Dubya saying either less-than-intelligent things, "I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully", and some very unnerving things, "We will not have an all-volunteer army." Scathing and bratty without being too preachy. As political songs go, one of my favorites.

Ok, well it's either that or Brian Wilson one of the two collaborations with Lisa Marr on this album.

The album is overall pretty good, I mean, I won't say that it's great. It's a little short. Maybe I need to stop basing all my expectations for length off of Everything Goes Numb. Still as much as I enjoy it, it feels like somethings missing. Maybe I would've liked it more if it wasn't as produced or something.

7/10 Good. Not perfect, but good.

Freebird,
Jason

Monkey in a suit with a 'nucular' bomb.

Warning!! Naughty Language!!

2007-01-24T12:47:00.001-08:00

By: Michael Davey

First off, I loved the first Tenacious D album. I thought that Tenacious D was well written, funny, and honestly a great rock album. So, my expectations with Pick of Destiny were high. Like, really high. As in, “If the original Beatles reformed, with the dead ones coming back to life, and recorded a new album, I wouldn’t expect it to be as good as this one needs to be. Needs”. Yes, it is odd that I expect this from a band made out of comedians, but whatever. Nobody ever said I was sane.

Alright. The first song off the album is the first song in the movie. It is also one of the best songs that The D has ever recorded. “Kickapoo” reminds you why the album has the Parental Advisory sticker on it. “A long ass fucking time ago in a town called Kickapoo”…“And if you try to fuck with me then I shall fuck with you”…“My father thinks you’re evil, but man, he can suck a cock”. Trust me, it’s great. The song has guest vocals from Meatloaf as Jack’s father, and Ronnie James Dio as himself. It’s great. Unfortunately, the album gets worse from here. Yes, the first song is the best.

Another high point on the album is “Beelzeboss”, which is notable as having Dave Grohl do the vocals as the Devil, as well as being the song that Tenacious D wrote their biggest hit, “Tribute”, as a response to (they ‘forgot’ the original song).

There are other good songs, but nothing truly great. “Classico” is good, as are “POD” and “The Metal”. So, there some good songs. And then there are the other songs. Songs that worked really well for the movie, with the visuals behind them, but as just songs, are pretty weak. "Papagenu" just makes no sense without the movie behind it, and "The Divide" and "Break-In City" just don't do anything for me without the awesome scenes. Don't get me wrong. The songs are funny, when there is a movie with them. Without the movie though, they just don't work.

And there is only one song on the album that wasn't in the movie. "The Government Totally Sucks". I thought that I would love this. LOVE IT. I mean, look at the title. Who doesn't agree with that title? But, as with much of the album, this song is just unfulfilled potential. It's really sad. The whole album seems like "Tenacious D Tries Too Hard". And it isn't like they can't do it. They just don't. The movie's great. The album? Not so much. It’s okay, but as Jack and Kyle might say, “It doesn't need to be 'Okay'. It needs to be a fucking masterpiece. And there’s no fucking way that it’s that. It sucks a dick compared to our last album”.

…

They might not say that, but I really wanted an excuse to write it. My final rating? 6/10

New Rule of the Universe

2007-01-19T20:16:00.000-08:00

By Michael Davey

Yes, you read correctly. I have created a new Rule of the Universe!!
And it shall be enforced by the sheer POWER OF MY WILL!!

So, as some of you may know, The Used and My Chemical Romance, have released a cover of Queen's "Under Pressure". This is in no way breaking news, as the song was released on iTunes in 2005. However, I have heard it for the first time tonight. And it made an impression on me. One so strong, that I have no choice but to create this rule.

THE RULE: The Used and My Chemical Romance are not allowed to cover "Under Pressure", and if they do, for some reason, retard fans are NOT allowed to say it is better than the Queen/David Bowie version.

Now, as I admitted previously, the first part of the rule has already been broken. However, there is still time to stop the second part from happening anymore. Because, don't you know what will happen if both parts are broken?

The universe will implode.

Do you want that on your conscience?

Who's On First?

2007-01-18T06:52:00.001-08:00

By: Michael Davey

So, I think that I need to start off this review by telling you all something. To all you people who say that either The Beatles or The Rolling Stones are the best band ever: You’re wrong. Dead wrong. Now, don’t stone me to death, that won’t give you any satisfaction. I’ll just run away on a Yellow Submarine. (Oh God, the puns). They’re both great bands. It’s just that they aren’t the best.

The Who are.

I have loved The Who for years, ever since my Step-Dad let me listen to Tommy for the first time. (SPOILER: BEST ALBUM EVER? YES) I loved it. I loved Quadrophenia. I loved Who Are You. I even liked It’s Hard. I was devastated when Entwistle died, and thought that there was no way I would ever hear a new Who album that I liked.

Then they released Endless Wire in October, 2006. I got it on the first week that the stores had it. And I listened to it. Again. And again. And again.

I didn’t do my homework. I didn’t study for tests. Just listened to Endless Wire. And tried to figure out whether Zak Starkey is a good replacement for Keith Moon. Whether Pino Palladino could ever take the place of “The Ox”.

Okay, I’ll tell the truth. This isn’t the best album The Who have ever released. They’re old now, and you can tell. Daltrey’s voice hasn’t withstood the test of time as well as some (Meat Loaf, for one). The album isn’t as hard rock as their older stuff, as though time has softened their music. It isn’t the best Who album.

But it’s a good one. “Fragments”, the first song on the album, starts off with a keyboard line similar to Baba O’Riley. “The Man in a Purple Dress” is a moving song. So is “Two Thousand Years”. The second half of the album is a mini rock-opera, called Wire and Glass. The story is kind of loose and disconnected, but two songs (“Endless Wire” and “We’ve Got A Hit”) carry it. It’s not Tommy, but it’s still The Who.

My final rating? While it’s not the amazing masterpiece that everyone was hoping for, it is a solid, well-recorded, well-played, and altogether good album. I enjoyed it, and I think that most people would. Get it, but don’t worry if you have to wait a while. It’s not a Must-Have-Right-Now. Just a Get-It-Whenever.

7.5 / 10

MitchClem.com, A Place for Friends

2007-01-17T22:23:00.000-08:00

Oh, god! Oh, god! My first review! Gasp, Shock and Horror!

Both Mike and I agreed that we should review things that we like and don’t like, and have a vague idea of what we each should write about. And as I feel that I have taken these ideas to heart, I usually would have a tendency to write more about what I don’t like. So to make a trend away from that and be positive, so here is a review of something I thoroughly enjoyed.

Also, I will probably be reviewing a lot of less-than-current albums. It’s just a thing a lot of the CD’s I’ve been listening to were made before 2004, it just happens. I will by and/or listen to newer albums, hopefully much more in the coming year. So to encourage this practice, I’ll review something that came out this past year, in October.

The third practice that this post will encourage is my departure from Mitch Clem. I love Mitch Clem, (Mitch, if you’re reading this, please draw me a toaster) but the album I’m about to review was done by a band never mentioned in his comics and I’m pretty sure they were never mentioned in his Live Journal, the major significance of this being that I found out about them on my own (read: Wikipedia.)

So here we are:

The Lillingtons – The Too Late Show

I was looking at the Wikipedia article for Pop-Punk (yes, I have this terrible habbit of reading the Punk Rock related articles on Wikipedia. I do this often. [Don’t] sue me). Anyways, I found a link to the Lillingtons article and read that Fat Mike (oh, Fat Mike) stated once, though questionably, I did read it on wikipedia, that their album Death By Television was the Best Pop-Punk album ever. I being a fan of Pop-Punk, wanted to check this out.

As I am a consumer whore, I often shop at Interpunk.com. You try finding that sort of music in this terribly lonely part of North Carolina. So I often found myself putting Death By Television into a cart that I probably wouldn’t buy because as I am in college, I don’t have too much money. And I, as I sometimes do, got impatient and decided instead to download the album. [Don’t] sue me.

The Moral of that terribly long boring story is that I could not find DBTV and instead found The Too Late Show. I was not disappointed in the slightest.

First of the Vocals are amazing. A-ma-zing. That Kody boy can sing. His voice fits right in the music and is both very melodic and energetic. It stands out and makes the music do so as well.

The song structures are very simplistic and are very catchy, it’s hard to listen to a song and not have the chorus repeat in my head a couple dozen times after I turn my trusty (somewhat dusty) iPod off. The music is fast, fun to listen to and makes you want to dance. Or at least jump around and help people up if they fell down. Guitar solos aren’t long and drawn out and usually don’t prolong the progression of the song like a lot of solos seem to. And none of the songs have ever made me want to skip them, all eleven tracks are great. The lyrics rhyme and it’s not sloppy.

The lyrical content might be a turn off for some people; I however think it’s well done. You would think that crazy Sci-Fi lyrics (Mars Vs. Hollywood, Target Earth) and USSR Red Scare flashbacks (Do it USSR, Russian Attack) would get old, but I can’t help but enjoy them. I whole heartedly thank The Lillingtons for adding a third song about Zombies to my iPod (The other to being Zombie by Screeching Weasel and Walk Like a Zombie by Horrorpops).

Overall, the songs are strong, the lyrics are well done and catchy and the only problem is that these glorious eleven tracks only last thirty minutes. But I guess it’s always good if the way a band sounds leaves you wanting more.

9.5/10 Just one more song...

Freebird,

Jason.

I'm putting my money on the little green men.

It's like bread! Except made out of meat!!

2007-01-17T21:27:00.000-08:00

By: Michael Davey

For today's CD review, we have the third CD in Rock's great trilogy-
Meat Loaf's Bat Out Of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose

Alright, to start with, this is a different sound than the previous two albums. Less piano, more guitar. Vocally, Meat Loaf is as good as he has ever been, which is saying a lot. He has a strong voice, and he puts his soul into his songs. Now, having said that, his more "Hard Rock" songs aren't as good as I would hope. I don't love the title song, which was co-written by Nikki Sixx, of Motley Crue, or "Land of the Pig (The Butcher is King)".

Now, on to the good. With "Blind as a Bat", Meat Loaf has brought back the power ballad, and made it not suck. Doesn't sound like much, but think about it. The last good power ballad was Poison's "Every Rose Has It's Thorn". Yes, it has been that long. "If God Could Talk" is shorter than a lot of Loaf's other work, but it is a great song. "Bad for Good" is a great song, and as a bonus features guitar playing by Brian May (Queen's lead guitarist).

And for the great: "The Future Ain't What it Used To Be" is an incredible song, and "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" is the best song recorded in the last 10 years, easily. If you don't listen to anything on this album, at least listen to this. Seriously. Here's a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbXvImgwfSs

Overall, this CD is what I hoped for. Great vocals, and several songs which, for me, rank up there with "Bat Out Of Hell", "Two out of Three Ain't Bad", "Paradise By the Dashboard Light", and "I'd Do Anything for Love (but I Won't Do That)".

Think about this, for a moment. Meat Loaf doesn't write any of his own music. Yet, somehow, the 59 year old big man has managed to create an album with more feeling in the songs than anyone else in the last....hell, since Bat Out Of Hell II came out. Amazing.

My rating? Despite those two songs I mentioned earlier, this album is definitely tied as the best Bat Out Of Hell album (with the first one, a Rock and Roll classic).

9.5 / 10 (God, I wish I hadn't said those bad things about it in the beginning of this, so I could give it a 10...)

Choking Victim - No Gods/No Mangers (Old Review)

2007-01-17T20:03:00.000-08:00

It starts with a toaster.

It's a pretty round about way for a review to start, I guess, but that where it starts; Standing nervously in the (albeit short) line to see Jeph Jacques and get him to draw me a toaster. At this point I didn't really know of him or read his comic per say, but I had already gotten two other artists (whose comics I do read) to draw them, and as I saw it, there was no going back.

So Jeph draws me a toaster. A hilarious toaster. So I decide to read his comic.

So in reading his comic I find a guest comic particularly hilarious, so I look it up and read the artist's comic. I wind up reading through Nothing Nice to Say, and finding out a great deal more about Mitch Clem than I ever really would have cared to know. From Mitch Clem (and mmr21, but she comes later)

So skip forward about a month. I'm sitting in LJ's chair and I'm using his computer to download music with this quaint little program called Soulseek. I think for a moment and ponder exactly what I should download.

Oh Choking Victim, Mitch Clem likes Choking Victim, and to this point good ol' Mitch has not steered me wrong. Two clicks and a minute or two later there it is, 500 Channels. Two more clicks and it's playing in iTunes.

And---it's good. Energetic bassline, decent guitars, the vocals are kind of scratchy and horrible, but they kind of go with the gritty sound of the music. It's a Ska song. Ok, I can deal with this. Dance in my room alone. Cool, cool, depressing, cool.

And a month forward again, I open up my package from Overstock.com and get CD's. Huzzah! Music! I am saved. I mean, as good as Everything Goes Numb is, after about the fifty fourth play (no lie) it may start to get a little old. Probably not though.

So I upload the CDs onto my computer.

So here we are listening to Choking Victim. The first track (500 Channels) makes the CD seem like such a good idea, it's got a catchy sound and you can kind of ignore some of the lyrics that are less than savory: "And when there is no hope/I smoke some crack and shoot some dope". I guess it shouldn't be too bad.

Track two is alright, the faux Satanism and the singer's voice continue to grate my nerves. It's short, it's fast. Ok. Good. Great Fine.

Track three, alright, I can put up with the continued faux Satanism and the fact that the song is about killing cops because the song sounds good. The singer is actively not trying to screech and it actually has kind of a Rocksteady beat (which fits with the name, Crack Rocksteady). Honestly if I had, on that fateful day listened to any song other than this one or 500 Channels I would never have gotten the album.

Track four is disgusting. Honestly, I can't understand why anyone would write this song. It isn't even that the song sounds bad, but I believe this is perhaps one of the only songs I will ever hate purely because of the lyrics (excluding songs that may be considered 'crunk'.) Why on earth would you write a song called Suicide (A Better Way)? Suicide isn't funny.

And slowly as I listen to the rest of the album the influence of Death Metal grows larger and the cheery sound of Ska Punk that drew me to purchase this CD diminishes. Two of the tracks begin with odd anti-capitalist rants. Frankly, with the exceptions of 'In My Grave' and 'Five Finger Discount' the rest of the CD is thoroughly unlistenable.

So, I guess this CD is pretty much just to piss off your parents. The cover is adorned with Satanic imagery, in case the title didn't make it apparent enough that Jesus wasn't really their thing. As anti-capitalist as they seem to be, I can't really help but point out they are on Hellcat Records, a subsidiary of the now RIAA member Epitaph records. And I used my Visa Check Card to buy their record from Overstock.com

4/10, The three songs are really catchy, but it'd probably be better just to buy them off of iTunes. I'd only suggest getting the whole record if you really need to piss your parents off in a hurry.

Freebird,
Jason.

Mike and Jason? A Blog Together?

2007-01-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

So yeah, in some respects me and good ol' Mike are as different as night and day, apples and oranges, Horde and Alliance. And now that I think about it, Mike does play Horde and I do play Alliance. In all honesty though, I probably would have sex with Barack Obama about as fast as Mike would with Ann Coulter, but that's another story all together.

Anyways we (read, I) decided it would be a really cool idea to start some kind of crazy blog where we write and rant about music. Just think of is a a writing and listening exercise that both Mike and I have volunteered out ears to listen to as much as we can so we make sure that you, the reader, know exactly what you should be listening to, and what conversely, should not be listening to.

So good luck to us as we undertake this, hopefully amusing en devour!

Freebird,
Jason.